"The internet is like playing with fire, it's better that you stay away from it" - My Mother
On this hot pink computer, there was no access to the internet, my sisters and I were monitored by our parents, played our large collection of CD games, and used the paint feature to create "masterpieces".
The person personally petrified by the vast, unknown world wide web is my mother. I attribute this to the fact that she knew very little, and is still unsure of, technology. If there was one thing about the internet that she knew, and always lectured me about, was that the internet is dangerous and I should simply avoid it.
Jealousy took over as my friends discussed their social media profiles in class and via text. Meanwhile, I only had access to the internet under supervision at school, or at a friends house. Technology was still so new to me, and I desired to be just like everyone else. This meant that I was willing to take advantage of my parent’s trust and lie to them.
Buzz...Buzz...Buzzzzzz
"Jada come over. I have something I NEED to show you!" my friend exclaimed as I answered the phone. "Be over in 5." I responded, I already knew what she had to tell me.
"I REALLY don't think I should...what if someone finds out about it?" "Don't be a loser, just do it. I know you want one you said it!" "Everyone has one?" "Yes, EVERYONE."
As my fingers were lingering over the keyboard, I felt inside that shouldn't be doing this. Fear was taking over.
My racing thoughts and pestering friend were making this a difficult decision. On one side, I knew that my parents DID NOT want me on the internet, let alone a social media site. However, the other side didn't totally understand why this was. How was the internet dangerous? I mean there were games, videos, my friends...
"All I want is to talk with my friends..." I thought, "What's so wrong about that?"
My racing thoughts and pestering friend were making this a difficult decision. On one side, I knew that my parents DID NOT want me on the internet, let alone a social media site. However, the other side didn't totally understand why this was. How was the internet dangerous? I mean there were games, videos, my friends...
"All I want is to talk with my friends..." I thought, "What's so wrong about that?" Suddenly, a thought popped into my head. "I can do this," I started thinking, "I'm smart, and I totally know what I'm doing. Plus, my friend knows what she's doing. It's going to be fine, I can get away with this."
"The more friends you have, the cooler you are!" - My "friend"
I personalized my page, added as many "friends" as I could get my hands on, pictures, music, talked to people, and organized my "top 10" friends. My hot pink themed page was decorated with animated sparkles. I searched through a multitude of pages looking for inspiration for my page, it needed to be perfect. This page was a reflection of me, and I cared so much about what everyone else thought of me.
How can something so fun be dangerous?
My independence on the internet was short lived. My friend left our MySpace sites up on the computer while she went to the bathroom, and her mom discovered what we had been doing. Knowing parent’s feelings towards social media, she immediately told my mother. My mom still reminds of what my dad ingrained into my head, “I’ll give you anything you need, don’t take advantage of it.” Now, in 5th grade this didn’t make much sense to me, I also didn't understand how the internet could be such a scary place. I was confused about it all. I was never told WHY I couldn't be on the internet. I couldn't comprehend how I could be in trouble for something I didn't understand. It took putting myself in this situation for me to face reality with the internet, and my parents.
"I needed you to understand how serious this was to me." - My Mother
Both of my parents agreed that 5th grade Jada was too young, and too naive, to be on the internet. My mom explained to me how disappointed she was that I created this account without coming to her first.
She was so nervous and scared when technology came into my life that she tried to shield me from it. Because she was personally unaware of the internet, it made her fears even worse.
After getting my page shut down, the second tragedy that I faced was getting my phone taken away. This meant that my world was ending. Not only did I lose my MySpace connection, but I also lost my connection with my friends.I felt somewhat empty, that there were conversation and plans that were being missed. The irrational fear in my head that I was going to lose my friends if I couldn’t talk to them took over.
Coming full circle back to what my father said to me, and when I actually understood what it meant. He game me a computer to use, a phone to use, and knew that I used the internet at friend’s houses, but trusted me to be responsible. However, I acted childish, and not responsible at all. I took advantage of the freedom that I was given, so they had to take it away until they felt I proved responsible enough to have it back.
Vulnerable. Scared. Confused. Unaware.
At this point, my parents sat me down at my dad’s computer, and gave me my first lecture about the dangers of the unknown digital world. My expressed how concerned she was with my safety, and explained how they were only trying to protect me. My parents taught me how not everyone is always who they say they are on the internet.
As a family, we worked through how to safely use the internet together with my younger sister, in 3rd grade at the time. It finally hit my parents how the internet would inevitably be a part of our lives. I taught them what I’d learned from school about using Microsoft and other software.
I received the information I needed. I became informed. There was suddenly a reason behind only being told, "NO!" My parents taught me what they knew about how to be safe when using the internet, minimal but helpful. Knowing what I know now, I agree that a 5th grader is too young and knows far too little to be using that social media site.